So today, My Dear Friend, I bid you farewell. I loved you more then I loved myself for so long.īut with you I’m no one…with you I’m dead. So, My Friend, here is where I tell you that I loved you. It’s not real…none of it is real with you, Alcohol… nothing. I don’t need you to fix the problems you create, I don’t need you to feel, and I don’t need you to make me a better person.Īll you are is a bottle of lies wrapped up nice and pretty. You convinced me that if I couldn’t have you, nothing mattered-not my family, my girls, my life, not even Me. I knew it wasn’t right, you weren’t right, but I just kept going back for more. The more I tried, the harder and harder it got to walk away. I believed the next time would be different. So nagging and convincing, you got me every time. I tried so many times to leave you to walk away with the confidence that I could live without you, but you kept calling. I thought it was “them,” it couldn’t be you because you were my friend.īut it was you it really was. You took my life apart, piece-by-piece, and destroyed it.Īt first I didn’t notice it was you. The friends you told me I’d make, the places I would be able to go as long as I had you with me…they weren’t real. The truth is you didn’t make anything better. You lied and lied, and then lied some more. You whispered in my ear you’d never leave me, that you’d always be there. You promised I could do anything with you by my side, and I’d be the best at it. You promised you’d keep me safe, that nothing would hurt. I trusted you… I put my faith in you… and you let me down. Whether good or bad you have been the one thing I could count on. You’ve been my rock for so long my everything. I never really thought I’d ever say those words to you, or really let you go. I’m not even sure where to begin…what to say.
I was asked to write this letter…a goodbye letter to my addiction. For over a year I attended an early recovery group meeting once a week along with therapy and a 12-step program. When I got sober I went to detox, and then to an outpatient program.
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